THE LAST DAYS AT NEWCASTLE-EMLYN

The history of these days is full of interest. Total surrender to Christ had now entirely captivated Evan Roberts’s mind; but the people could not understand him. He caused no little anxiety to his near acquaintances, as they all believed that he was rapidly losing his mental equilibrium. When out in the day time, he would gaze incessantly at the sun, and remark that he was seeing wonderful things in it. The grandeur of it was such to him that he felt he had never seen it before. In the night again, it was next to impossible to keep him from looking at the moon and stars. All this was put down to mental impairment. Yet, one thing puzzled the people very much, namely, the sane way in which he performed his part in religious services, and his clear conceptions when talking on religious matters in circles outside the chapel. This was not consistent with ‘religious mania’. The students and the Misses. Phillips did their best to take him out for walks, and draw his attention from the heavenly bodies and religious topics, but without effect. It is not required of us to adopt the standpoint of the apologist and argue that the people were greatly mistaken in their opinion of Roberts’s mental condition. The delusion that he was a religious maniac will soon be dispelled by reading the letters written by him during these days, especially in his answer to the following letter from his sister: —

Island House,
Oct. 26th, 1904.

DEAR EVAN,

Very likely you think I have forgotten you, but it is not so. My time is well occupied with lessons, and I hope you will forgive me for keeping you so long without an answer. I am glad to hear that your life at Newcastle Emlyn is enjoyable.

Dan has not started working owing to his eyes being weak.

. . . . . The Llandilo-Talybont pupil teachers attend the Gowerton classes now. Mr. Morgans has gone away to Tondu. We are about 90 teachers there on Saturday — 1st, 2nd, and 3rd years together. We are getting on alright with the lessons. The walk over is the worse part for me. I go up with the 9.20 train when it rains and it always rains on Mondays!

He has tested us in three subjects — English, History, and Geography. He told me that I was too slow in writing, and that I should practise to write quicker. That was the only fault. On the whole, he has told me that my work is satisfactory so far. We had a test in Science Saturday. We have had a new book lately — Lees ‘Grammar on Historical Principles’. We do not take General Knowledge. Thanks for that.

Mr. Lewis, Libanus, Pontardulais, is with us at Moriah next Sunday. Mr. Jones and he have exchanged. Mr. Thomas, Glanmor, still comes to Pisgah. We have warm meetings. As Dan told you, Bessie has left us for Cardiff. I have had two letters from her; and in the first she asked me to give you her kindest regards, and the same twice in the last one. She hopes that you like New Castle Emlyn, as well as she likes Cardiff. She is going in for her Intermediate B. A., and she says that it will mean hard work. . . . .

We are getting on grand with Algebra and Euclid. Algebra gets harder every week. We shall be working on the ‘Donkey’s Bridge’ in Euclid next week, and I am afraid I shall stick there. The French is not so hard as I thought it would be. There are a good number of words in it like the English and Welsh. The scholarship Exam will commence this year seven weeks next Tuesday; and in two years to that time we shall be sitting, if alive and well. We have had visits from two different Inspectors — one last week and the other this week — Mr. Edwards and Mr. Ballard. The latter told me that next pay day I shall have an advance, and also back pay from August on, and Chester will have it as well. Chester has brought his developer to school, and we use that play time. I have no more to say.

Best love from all, hoping you are in good health. Kind regards to Evans.

From your loving sister,

MARY.

Ty Llwyd,
Ebenezer Street,
Newcastle-Emlyn,
28th Oct., 1901.

DEAR MARY, —

Your letter to hand this morning. I was expecting to have it every day — ‘But everything comes to those that wait’.

Very glad to hear of your progress at School, and I hope you will ere long find it easy to write swiftly. I know it is a hard task for us as a family to write swiftly and intelligibly, as our cast of mind does not allow it. But by sheer practice, we can accomplish it. I was glad to notice the change in your writing, that is, I see you are doing away with your recklessness, and steadily endeavouring for a firm character. But at the end of your writing your old recklessness comes into sight. But still ‘go on’. Your writing changes as your character changes. As for the ‘Donkeys Bridge’, you will do well to dis-join the three triangles, and study each separately, and you will, therefore, succeed to cross this ever difficult passage. Of course, it is a great blessing in one sense that you have done away with General Knowledge But, ‘the more (knowledge) the merrier. I can assure you it is a great boon for you to have the Developer at School. It gives on a new vigour, and makes your blood to circulate more freely. If I were you, I should practise it as much as possible. I have not done much with mine since I am here, but I may do so before long. Spiritual things have had such a hold on me, and also on Evans and a young man from Ynyshir — a Mr. Jones. But Jones can work like a tiger, and Evans can work very well, but at times he can do nothing. I can see him now at this table writing a letter to some person, it is ten o’clock Friday morning. Both of us are not at School this morning. Last night neither of us could work.

Well, I cant tell you how busy the devil is at this place. I have told you before how we have met the young girls from New Quay at New Castle and at Blaenanerch and Twrgwyn. They, the people of this place, make such awful stories, which are down right lies. Some say we go to see the young girls, and not for the cause. Others ask (but not in our faces) How is it that we three and not others have felt so. And others say, it is only shamming we do, as also the New Quay people. Others scoff, and make light of these spiritual things. But thanks to God, He knows out very thoughts, and that it is from our very souls we do this work. You can depend that there is a great revival awakening in the near future. Satan has mustered all his regiments, for this is a sign of danger to his kingdom, and tonight we are going to hold a Revival meeting at Caper Drindod. Oh! we do hope that God will pour His Spirit abundantly upon us to night. There will be a great concourse of young people there. I wish, if it were practicable to come with these meetings to Loughor. I intended to write a letter to Moriah’s Young Men’s Prayer Meeting, as to how to prepare and receive this great blessing. I am waiting to see what the near future will bring to me. To tell you the truth I have not done much work since I am here. I try to shake off these thoughts — spiritual thoughts. But it would have been as easy to turn back the flow of the sea. This week I have done a good bit, but not as I should do. If I don’t awake myself ere long, the ‘Education Committee’ will call me to the bar, and say, ‘Now young man, you must double your energy. I have some weeks before Christmas, and I trust ere then I can do a good deal of work. I can assure you that I am happy, and more than happy. I possess some unspeakable joy — night and day. I would if it were possible to give it to you. It would move away your sarcasm, and it would light up your face with joy, and your heart with peace. It would be a treat for you, if you could hear those young ladies from New Quay when they pray. They are so earnest, so simple, and not in the least nervous. How should you like to pray at Pisgah? You and Alice and Sarah and Miss. Jordan? You walking on, reading a hymn, and reading the Bible and praying — as you never heard any person praying and fearless. But first you must feel that you are a lost sinner, and then feel that Christ died for you, and, last of all, that you must have the baptism of the Holy Spirit, and then work.

I am here in very good health, and these good old people act as mothers to us. They have no other people to care for. I am afraid they will spoil us, for they are so tender-hearted, and they also share with us their dainties. In fact, they are too liberal. They are so clean and jovial.

Sydney wishes to be remembered to you, and sends his ‘kindest regards’ to you. He is a fine fellow. He does all the shopping. I have nothing to do, but live like a gentleman. I tell him I must leave him something in my will, for he is so kind, gentle, and obliging.

What about your health at home? I trust you are right. Well, you have been talking much about religion at home, but I never heard much joy of salvation. ‘Full assurance of faith’. Doesn’t the dear Lord say that those who believe on Him have eternal life? If so, why do we not believe. But, nevertheless, we must be ready to yield ourselves to the Spirit, and then your health, bodily, mental, and spiritual will be better. The Sunday morning will be brighter. Couldn’t you, Dan, read a portion of the Bible at night, and one of you pray? When I come home Christmas time we must have it. It is not only needful, but we ought to do so. We have a family altar here at Ty Llwyd. Sydney leads one night, and I the other. I can assure you it is a great blessing. I know it is hard to begin. Well, then, tell the Lord that it is hard to do so, and ask Him for strength to do it. I know it will do a great change at our home. It will teach you to be more careful of your words and actions. It will teach you not to offend nor to take offence. Now you, Mary, could take part quite well. Perhaps you will say, ‘I don’t know what to ask’. Never mind for that, The Holy Spirit will teach you what to ask. In fact, you will love one another much better. You will not trouble for the morrow, and the troubles of the day will be lighter. Before I came to Newcastle-Emlyn, I never met young ladies who could and were willing to speak of religious things. The old fashion was to draw a long face when speaking of religious things. But it was most part of it hypocrisy, and based on the fact and thought that God is a solemn and just God, and at the same time forgetting that God is a happy God and a joyful God. Therefore, we mush be happy and joyful. Now, when we speak of religion we are full of joy, and our faces are lit up with joy. Shake off this death-like solemnity, and be joyful, ever joyful. We must show the world that we are happy, because of this blessed assurance of salvation. The old story was, ‘I hope I am saved’, while we can say, ‘I know I am saved’. Isaiah says And the Lord laid upon Him the iniquity of us all. Now, if the Lord has laid all our sins on Jesus, there is no sin remaining to place on us. Now, then, this question, Do you believe that God placed all your sins on Christ? Well, then, there is no sin on you, you are free, and if you are free you have life. If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.

Now, if you feel it hard to begin a family altar, ask the Lord to prepare you. I will also ask Him to make you ready for this new departure. I know that Sarah has many times asked me to do so. If I had done so I would have done it in my own strength. But, dear people, ask the Lord for light, strength, and guidance.

Now, I draw to the end of this (short?) Epistle, and may God bless you abundantly.

Your true and affectionate Brother,

Mary Roberts

EVAN JOHN ROBERTS.

This letter puts the question of his mental sanity during the days under consideration beyond any dispute. It shows his clear grasp of one of the most difficult problems in Euclid; the importance of physical exercise in is relation to health and development, his knowledge of human nature; the duty of having a clear conscience before God; the unconditional prediction of the great coming Revival, which is one of the most wonderful things; his care for the religion of the family, and his exhortations to them. What man affected by religious mania or any other mental ailment could compose such a strong and consistent letter as this?

After finishing this epistle, he and Sydney Evan went out to the field to pray, to prepare for the Capel Drindod Revival meeting which was to be held that night. We closed the previous chapter with his letter to Miss. Davies, New Quay, which was written expressly with reference to this meeting. He had no official hand in it, yet it weighed heavily on his mind. In the field, he read the account of Christ’s agony in the Garden, and prayed. Sydney Evans approached the Throne after him, and both wept freely in thinking of the Saviour’s sufferings. They were so taken up as to forget place and time almost entirely. On their return they met Mr. Josiah Williams, a guard on the Railway; and Evan Roberts remarked that Christ was going to be glorified that evening at Capel Drindod.

About three o’clock, he started for Capel Drindod; and, as it will appear later, some of those who accompanied him were in great anxiety, because they had been confirmed in their opinion of his mental condition by Dr. Hughes’s idea of him, which was touched upon in another chapter in a letter to me. Miss. Rachel Phillips, the daughter of the Rev. Evan Phillips, New Castle Emlyn, says about the night of the Capel Drindod meeting —

‘Great was our anxiety that night about Evan Roberts. He was bent on looking heavenwards continually, and we, poor creatures, endeavouring to get him to look earthwards.’

Miss. Ann Phillips, her sister, expresses the same feeling in relating the incidents connected with Capel Drindod —

I have written concerning Evan Roberts in my own way. If there will be a gem in it (although every word he said is a gem to me), will you take it out and polish it? I shall begin at Capel Drindod. Here Evan Roberts made a deep impression on me. The Rev. Jos. Jenkins and the girls from New Quay were there holding a Revival meeting. Roberts went up early in the afternoon to prepare himself for the six o’clock service. When I reached I asked Sydney Evans where Roberts was. He answered that he was in the wood praying. Before long he came to us cheerfully. I was very anxious about him at the time, and they had told me at home to keep my eye on him. After all had gone in, he was out, and it was obvious that something weighed heavily on him. I told him, It is better for you to come in; then the burden will fall off. I knew that it was the meeting that burdened his mind. He commenced his way, but stopped in the lobby. Now I saw his countenance changing and his eyes closed. Looking at him caused me great fear. Then he said, Jesus Christ is going to be glorified more tonight than at Twrgwyn. I was surprised to hear him saying that. But the reason for my surprise was that I did not understand him. I said to him, It is better for you to go in, or else we shall not find room. At the time he did not know less than he was in, because of absent-mindedness.

The Rev. Joseph Jenkins conducted the meeting, as said in the above remarks, and this night a great number of young people from New Quay had accompanied him. These were full of religious enthusiasm, and, therefore, Roberts found himself in his element among them. The chapel was full before six o’clock — the time announced; and after Mr. Jenkins addressed the audience, the meeting began to drop gradually in its fervour. Miss. Ann Phillips continues her description thus. — After entering, he had his eyes closed again, and was under some wonderful influences. The meeting went on excellently in singing and prayer; but before long it began to cool, because speaking took the place of the prayer and praise. Consequently we said that to one another. Yes, the meeting is going down, said Roberts, and I cannot bear this. At once he was on his feet, and saying fervently that Jesus was not glorified as He should, because people wanted to show themselves. With these words, he fell in the pew, and prayed in such a manner that no one in the audience had ever heard such a prayer. His words burnt the consciences and heart is of many who were present. Soon after he rose from his knees, he asked me to sing.

I asked him to do so, and that I would sing with him. But that would not do. I refused about five times; but at last I did, and he accompanied me, full of fervour. When near home that night, he called me one side, and said — Your name is on the Book tonight I could not understand him. Why that? I said. O, because thou didst obey, said he, it was written. Thanks for the meeting at Capel Drindod: it will be with me eternally.

When Evan Roberts was engaged in prayer, as described, Miss. Phillips did her best to stop him, and besought him several times in these words, O, cease praying now indeed, you will do harm to yourself. She wept bitterly; but nothing would prevail on him. The cause of her intense anxiety about him has been already suggested in her remarks. In this great commotion, Mrs. Davies, Mona, New Quay, sang —

O! rend
The veil that hides this mount, and send
The Sun of Righteousness to end.

The audience joined heartily, and repeated the words very many times; and during this singing, Roberts ceased praying. The fervour created by his prayer was now very intense; and when an attempt to close the meeting was made by Mr. Jenkins at 8.30 p.m., the people would not hear of it. He appealed to those who had been blessed to remain, and the majority did. A second attempt was made to close at 9.30 o’clock, but that failed again. About 11 o’clock, some of the students persuaded Evan Roberts out to have something to eat but they could not stop him from going back again. However, by a hard struggle, they got him to start home with them between 11 and 12 o’clock. Being a moonlight night, he was delighted in looking heavenwards and speak of the glory of the moon and the stars, and some of the company will never forget his remarks.

They reached New Castle Emlyn about one o’clock Saturday morning, and he and Sydney Evans went to bed about 3 a.m. But he could not sleep because of the salvation of souls burdening his mind. Is your father a church member? he asked Sydney. No, was the reply. Well, said he, let us pray for him. And so they did earnestly. About 4 o’clock, they began to speak about Christ in His infinite humiliation and the greatness of His love. Roberts began to weep bitterly and sigh deeply in thinking of these things; and Evans broke out to sing —

For ever be glory to Him,
For Covenant and Cleansing.

Then hostesses heard, and one of them ran quickly to the door, knocked it, and exclaimed — In the name of goodness, what is the matter with you. Why not let people alone to sleep? Are you mad? Roberts answered, There is nothing wrong; our feelings account for it. We referred before to the dread and anxiety of the two sisters with whom they boarded. They had been led to believe strongly that there was something mentally wrong on the both; and it was not strange that they were startled at the singing in the earl y morning like that.

Saturday, October 29th, he is again in the same state of feeling. He went in the morning to the student’s prayer meeting. On his way back he turned in to Miss. Rachel Phillips’s shop; and Miss. Phillips relates the conversation between them —

The morning after the meeting at Capel Drindod, he turned in to me on his way home from the student’s prayer meeting, and said that he had had a wonderful night. I did not sleep all night, he said. The Divine outpouring was so heavy that I had to shout out and ask God to with-hold His hand. He failed to rest and had to get up with the dawn and go out to the hills: and only God and himself know what blessed time he had that morning. After he had finished relating about the night, I told him that I had not experienced the same influence as the others. Then he inquired of me if the Holy Spirit had asked me to do something and I having refused to obey. I said, No, I do not think. But I have felt many times on Sundays that I would like to repeat some hymn, were it not that I fear people would think that I want to show myself. O, yes, he remarked; that is it, refusing to do a small thing like that is sufficient for Him. Obedience must be given in the smallest thing. It looks small to us; but when obeying, the blessing comes.

In every connection he never deviated these weeks from his ruling spiritual passion for a Revival. It mattered not who were the persons he associated with. He kept to his standpoint. Well he knew the opinion of many as to his mental derangement, but that was not sufficient to swerve him from his path. Amongst his papers I found the following notes, which represent his attitude during these weeks —

I recollect one night in my lodgings at New Castle Emlyn, after Sydney Evans had gone to bed at 10 o’clock, I determined to work at my lessons with all my energy, but suddenly, it came to my mind that I had received some blessing and had not thanked for it. I went to the Throne to thank immediately. After having thanked, I returned to my lessons. But before commencing, I looked what time it was, and said, Wonderful! it is eleven o’clock. After this I said, Dear me! And I began thinking how I went to lose an hour’s time, and when I looked again another had gone. I jumped to my feet, and hurried to my bedroom in order to have rest. When I entered, Sydney asked, What is the time? Twelve, I said. You have had a good time of it? Yes, but not in the Greek.

He prayed earnestly since the Blaenanerch Convention for having six at New Castle Emlyn ready to go with him through Wales and not nine as in the first scheme. He felt that he could go home after having those, and the sanction of the Holy Spirit. By the day we are treating upon now, six had become willing and, as we shall see, Sunday evening the Spirit commanded him in a forcible manner to go home to work with the young people at Loughor.

The last Sunday for Evan Roberts to be there dawned — October 30th, 1904, and he was present at the services throughout the day. The Rev. Evan Phillips preached in the morning, on the words: ‘Father, glorify thy Son, that thy Son may glorify thee.’ As he listened to this sermon, Evan Roberts felt some strange influence possess him, making him oblivious of all save God and His work.

Miss. Rachel Phillips gives a graphic description of him this Sunday —

Roberts sat Sunday morning in a pew close to me. That was a Sunday morning to be remembered. It will never go out of my mind. There was some silent influence in the service touching the strings of the heart. I could not restrain from weeping throughout the service, and the people, especially the young, felt this influence. I could not see the face of Roberts, those who could see it told me that his face was shining, his countenance was changing, and appeared as if under a wonderful influence. When going out, and before going down the steps of the gallery, he stood and looked at us, saying — Well, what a meeting! O dear! the place is full of the influence of the Holy Spirit. O! I felt it coming over me like a breeze. When descending the steps, the world came in and troubled me, and I said to Roberts, How can I go home; my eyes are red because of weeping in the service. His answer was, Never mind; do not be ashamed to show that you feel. Come home.

He went to the Sunday School; and in the young peoples prayer meeting after the School, he prayed that strange prayer referred to by Mr. John Phillips in Chapter XV. He prayed for a long time in a half-sitting posture, there being no room for him to kneel. His tears fell in streams on the seat in front. The strange thing in his prayer was this: he used hardly any words excepting Glorify Thy Son. He repeated these over and over again. The effect of his prayer upon those present was indescribable. The Rev. Evan Phillips invited him to tea, and Miss. Phillips vividly describes what took place in the house. —

After having returned from the young people’s prayer meeting after School, we could do nothing but sigh. When tea was over Roberts said, Let us have a prayer meeting — ‘Iron sharpeneth iron.’ No, said I we are going to sing an anthem and a chant tonight, and we must go to the singing practice. I feared that he was going too far, and doing himself harm. If I knew as much as I do now, I would have left the anthem and chant go. I am sorry to this day that I gave more importance to the chant and the anthem than to Evan Roberts’s prayer meeting. But God knows what burdened us was care for his mental condition.

He proceeded from Mr. Phillips’s house to the evening service, and sat on the gallery in the student’s pew. Soon he became unconscious of all that was going on, because he was absorbed into communion with God. He testifies that the Holy Spirit spoke powerfully to him with regard to going home to Loughor to work among the young people. The message of the Spirit was — You must go, you must go. According to his letters in Chapter XXI, which touch upon this, he heard audibly, as it were, these words. At the same time, he could see and hear himself speaking to the people at Loughor. He could see the audience also, and he knew all the people. One person in the audience stood out clearer than the others, and, strange to say, was one of the first to be influenced by him. As will be seen in the letters referred to above, he made a great effort to empty his mind of these things, in order to enjoy the service, but back they came, and possessed his soul so powerfully that he felt himself helpless to keep them out. After every attempt to do away with them, they would reassert themselves with greater force. He prayed earnestly for relief, but was not answered. In the effort his body began to shake terribly, and consequently he had to give way to the influence that was upon him. This was one of the hardest struggles in his history during his stay at New Castle Emlyn, and it determined, to a great extent, his future movements. He resolved definitely during the service to go home the day after; and in coming out he told Sydney Evans, I am going home tomorrow to work for a week with the young people of Moriah. Well, said Sydney, I cannot come tomorrow. They parted, and Evan Roberts went to the Rev. Evan Phillips, and laid before him what occurred during the service, asking his opinion and advice. Mr. Phillips’s opinion and advice are expressed in Roberts’s letters of October 31st, given in the next chapter. Soon the conversation glided into a prayer meeting. Miss. Ann Phillips says —

Sunday evening after coming home, and Roberts with us, we found ourselves in a great prayer meeting in the house, and this was Roberts’s prayer — ‘O Lord, I amt willing to shed my blood for Thy Son’. His words burned our bosoms, and we felt that he was shedding his blood, as it were, for Jesus at the time. When departing for his lodgings, he told us that he was going home on the morrow, because of the vision in the service and the call of the Spirit. We were not at all willing for him to go. There was such a charm in his company, and such divine fervour characterised him, that attracted us all.

Another fact should be pointed out before we close this chapter In the course of these weeks, and after his return home, Evan Roberts had a series of visions, which had reference to the Revival. Some of these will be found in his letters in a future chapter. It is not our duty to discuss the nature of these, but this is certain: they were a condition in encouraging him to take the procedure he did. They strengthened his belief that a great Revival was close at hand. Whatsoever was their nature, they were real to him, and stimulated his mind in the right direction. And it should be borne in mind that there is nothing strange nor unscriptural in the chosen servants of God having visions. Indeed, it is only the fulfilment of God promises to the Church.